Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I heard of Once in a lullaby.Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue. And the dreams that you dare to dreamReally do come true.Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far Behind me.Where troubles melt like lemon drops, Away above the chimney tops.That's where you'll find me.Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow,Why then - oh, why can't I?If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow,Why, oh, why can't I?

Love is

Being loved is a wonderful thing in life

Its' a gift from God above

Dn't ever ask how it come about. But do remember it comes with nothing except each other. Love can't exist with just one heart, it needs two hearts. When the two hearts bind, don't let go. Because its' a wonderful connection wired within us unbreakable without our permission.













Receiving love and giving love in return is prevalent in what we do each day preceding the existence of love. Being loved bring more smiles to our lives. Love can be in such danger of becoming the cave to hide away from the treacherous world. However, in this cave, you have a companion. The cave is like a bubble that blows away.

To remain a bubble, please take it with care. Only with doing so, a love can last till eternity













Eternity or not , starts with the fantasy. Fantasy of a bright future and last but not least, believing in each other.

Green Tea

I am switching from coffee to Green tea. The overspreading benefits of Green tea has finally reached my ear and perhaps will reach yours too today.

Green tea is used in countries like Japan, Thailand, India and China to help heal wounds, control bleeding, and regulate body temperature and blood sugar. There are claims that this tea is also used to help control blood pressure. It eases the effects of alcohol, cures blotchiness, eliminates indigestion, prevents fatigue and improves urinary and brain function. There are no disadvantages for over consumption of green tea except, perhaps, of insomnia. Green tea does contain caffeine. However, overdosing on caffeine is very unlikely to occur in this tea because there is only minimal caffeine in a cup.

The chemical compounds contained in green tea:
polyphenols and flavonoids
alkaloids, such as caffeine and theobromine
carbohydrates
tannins
minerals, such as fluoride and aluminum

According to articles written by health magazine, when it comes to cancer treatment and prevention, it's the polyphenols that are important. The secret of green tea lies in the fact it is rich in catechin polyphenols, particularly epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG). EGCG is a powerful anti-oxidant: besides inhibiting the growth of cancer cells, it kills cancer cells without harming healthy tissue. It has also been effective in lowering LDL cholesterol levels, and inhibiting the abnormal formation of blood clots.

For humans to gain any health benefits, you would need to drink around 3-4 cups every day (without milk or sugar).

Sukiyaki

Sukiyaki is a sad lonely song

I was 12 years old when I first heard this song. The tune stays in my childhood memory but I never understood the meaning of this song until recently (thanks to my cousin). The singer of this song is Kyu Sakamoto. He passed away in a tragic plane crash. This song became popular in America as early as 1963.

UEO MU ITE ARUKOU
I look up as I walk
NAMIDA GA KOBORE NAI YOU NI
So that the tears won't fall
OMOIDASU HARU NO HI
Remember Those Spring Days
HITORI BOCHI NO YORU
One lonely night

UEO MU ITE ARUKOU
I look up as I walk
NI JINDA HOSHI 0 KAZOETE
Counting the Stars with Teary Eyes
OMOIDASU NATSU NO HI
Remember Those summer Days
HITORI BOCHI NO YORU
One Lonely Night

SHIAWASE WA kUMO NO UE NI
Happiness Lies beyond the cloud
SHUAWASE WA SORA NO UE NI
Happiness Lies up above the sky

UEO MUITE ARUKOU
I look up as I walk
NAMIDA GA KOBORE NAI YOU NI
So that the tears won't fall
NAKI NAGARA ARUKU
Crying as I walk
HITORI BOCHI NO YORU
One lonely night
OMOIDASU AKI NO HI
Remember those autumn day
HITORI BOCHI NO YORU
One lonely Night
KANASHIMI WA HOSHI NO KAGE NI
Sadness Lies in the shadow of the stars
KANASHIMI WA TSUKI NO KAGE NI
Sadness Lies in the shadow of the moon

UEO MI UTE ARUKOU
I lookup as I walk
NAMIDA GA KOBORE NAI YOU NI
So that the tears won't fall
NAKI NAGARA ARU KU
Crying and Walking
HITORI BOCHI NO YORU (twice)
One Lonely Night

Piano Pieces

Playing the piano is an endless trip to heaven for me. The sound of the keys combined to form algorithm and algebra in our mind.
The pieces I had memorized but needs re-practising again:
1. Fantasie Impromptu - Chopin
2. Waltz in D Flat Major - Chopin
3. Prelude No. 1 from Well Tempered Clavier - Bach
4. Voices of Spring - Fruhlingsstimmen
5. Ballade Pour Adeline - Richard Claiderman
6. Marriage D'Amour - Paul De Senneville
7. Forrest Gump Suit
8. Fur Elise - Beethoven
9. Pathetique Movement 1 - Beethoven
10. The Entertainer - Scott Joplin

The pieces I am about to start learning:
1. Claire De Lune - Debussy
2. Liebestraum - Franz Liszt
3. Moment Musical - Schubert
4. Pathetique Movement 2 - Beethoven
5. Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven
6. Intermezzo - Schumann
7. Christmas Song - Santa Claus is coming to Town
8. Christmas Song - The Twelve days of Christmas
9. Christmas Song - Frosty the Snow man
10. Christmas Song - Here Comes Santa Claus
11. Christmas Song - Its Beginning to look like Christmas
12. Christmas Song - Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
13. Christmas Song - Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas
14. White Christmas
15. First Noel
16. Silent Night
17. Gershwin - Embraceable You
18. Gershwin - The man I love
19. Scott Joplin - Maple Leaf

A list of pieces waiting for me to memorize:
1. Be Our Guest - Disney (Beauty & the beast)
2. Beauty & The Beast - Disney
3. Once Upon a Dream - Disney (sleeping beauty)
4. So this is love - Disney (Cinderella)
5. Some Day my prince will come - Disney (Snow White)
6. Its' a small world
7. Part of Your World - Disney (Little Mermaid)
8. ZHU FU 祝福
9. My Heart will go on - Titanic
10. What the world needs now is love - Carpenters
11. Arthur's Theme - Carpenters
12. Close To You - Carpenters
13. Thats' What Friends are For - Carpenters
14. Pachabel - Variation from Kannon
15. Scherzo - Chopin
16. My Way - Frank Sinatra
17. Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra

Total Scores= 46 pieces , Will I make it there! . . I shall not expand this list any further~phew!

Spotlight in Asia

Jim Rogers (Co-founder of Quantum Fund who is currently focusing on Commodities and China)
"If you were smart in 1807 you moved to London,
If you were smart in 1907 you moved to New York,
If you were smart in 2007 you moved to Asia "

Lawrence Ho
The male heir to Macau's richest tycoon, Stanley Ho.
Lawrence Ho after moving to Canada when he was only 9 years old, Lawrence returned after completing bachelor of arts degree from University of Toronto in 1999. Rather than join any of his father's companies, he worked for Jardine Fleming and Citibank. Two years after his graduation, he bought Melco, a distressed asset listed on Hongkong Stock Exchange. The company grew from nine employees to 10.000. Melco Crown Entertainment just opened the USD 2.1 billion City of Dreams casino resort in Macau

September & October in China

16 days abroad to China and Singapore brings me many meaningful and thoughtful memories. Our first destination was Dalian, followed by Luoyang, Hangzhou, Xuzhou, Xi An, Shenzhen, Hongkong and Singapore. We visited 6 factories, 8 major tourist destination and 5 minor tourist destinations. The major tourist destination include China’s First Emperor (Qin Shi Wang) Terracota, Liu Bang First Emperor of Han Dynasty’s Archeology Museum, Yang Gui Fei’s Bath Mansion called Hua Qing Shi, Tomb of Guan Gong (Guan Yu), Temple of 500 Buddhas, Gate of Red Dragon across the Yang Tze River, Mountain of Yun Tai Shan where we witnessed the first discovery of red stone Quartz 3000 years ago, and the home of SHEN WAN SAN. The visit to these major tourist destinations has augmented my curiosity of the history and myths left behind by 13 dynasties of China. Most notable is the Tang Dynasty and the Han Dynasty. With that, we were fortunate to be served with many delicious feasts from five different states that somehow gave us a little insights about the emperor’s taste

Besides the adventurous tourist destination, we also observed a great change in the public road, public transportation, airports, highways, public laws and the number of new factories that sprang across the South of China. China’s government has truly succeeded in providing a better commerce and humanitarian world for China’s within. The country’s GDP Growth has brought pride to the G20 meeting and overseas Chinese businessman. We see many domestic brands such as LI BAI (detergent brand), HONGQI (Limousine) started occupying the market. We believe that China’s reliant on exports will no longer be a threat to the nation and soon China will become the greatest consumer in the world.

Despite the slum currently facing foreign car manufacturing companies, the Chinese auto market remains buoyant, with supply unable to keep up with the robust demand. In the first half of this year, China overtook the US as the largest auto consumer market in the world, with total car sales of 6.09 million units. In first tier cities such as Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou, families are now buying a second car, with 18% of buyers financing these purchases with a bank loan, a situation unheard of even a few years ago.

The China’s property market has taken just one year to rebound from the hit it took at the start of the financial crisis, but both house prices and sales volumes in 70 large and medium size cities have picked up since the spring festival. China gave out more than RMB 7.4 trillion loans in the first six months of this year, which is the primary reason for the quick recovery of the property sector.

In this journey we also experience the first three days of sensation in the month of October. It was sensational to both China and the world. October First is China’s National Day which is China’s 60th Anniversary of victory as an independent nation. That very day, Beijing’s traffic reached 70.000 people per day. Newspapers were populated with testimonials about China’s 60 years of change. Overseas Chinese around the world were also celebrating by holding a gala at the capital city respectively. On that day, our family were leaving the state of Xuzhou and arriving at Xi An at 17:05. People all around China were watching television which show-case the National Day ceremony and parade. The ceremony began with 60 cannon shots and the release of 60 thousand pigeons on the sky followed by Military parade that lasted about 66 minutes. 56 phalanxes to represent 56 ethnic groups, 14 more phalanxes, including one with 378 female soldiers, 30 military weapon display teams and the highlights display of the latest spaceship, battle tanks and helicopters. At 9:45pm, world’s largest fireworks show case 300.000 shots, double the Olympics size and the dance performance by 50.000 dancers concludes with song led by Hongkong Star Jackie Chan and mainland singer Liu Yuan Yuan.

The number “60” holds a unique significance in Chinese society. In the ancient Chinese caendar of 10 heavenly stems and 12 earthly brances, a span of 60 years is known as jiazi formulated in the ninth century BC. It was amazing to realize that flipping the number “60” upside down produces “09” which correspond to the year 2009.

During this National day, China’s prime minister Wen Jia Bao deliverd a speech to 4000 invited guests, saying that “through consistent efforts of future generations, China would emerge as a rich, democratic and harmonious country when it celebrated its’ 100th anniversary”

The next day, we were awakened by news broadcast of Brazil victory in becoming the home state for 2016 Olympic competition. The day following that was the 15th day of the 8th lunar month where Chinese around the world shared a moon cake with their families. It was an auspicious day with people making wishes to the moon above. These three days were truly meaningful to me. I sent out messages to the people I love. I was very happy to receive a reply in return.

The day after that, we were once again on board the flight to Singapore. We found a bridge that was served as a short cut land journey from Shenzhen to Hongkong. On arrival at Singapore, I was pleased to meet my Cedar classmates who still remained a good friend to me till this day. They have all grown up to be beautiful ladies. Hopefully we will stay in touch all throughout our lives.

Who is He

He is somebody who didn't mind to be touched on the face

He is always wearing a white shirt

He doesn't smoke or drink

He loves the food as much as I do

He doesn't really care to know the details, but he care to stay still in your presence to hear your whims and complaints without ever leaving you alone

He has a broad shoulder to lean on

When he smile his eyes turned into teddy bear eyes

He would allow you to switch on and off his smiles. When i want him to smile, he would smile. When i say stop smiling , he will follow suit!

He sound like a catholic church PRIEST isnt he?

NO! HE IS ABSOLUTELY NOT
Beneath all the charming him - i will never be with him
Because he is a playboy !

When will God Transform him into a normal boy ?

The Part of Cooking That I Like

If I have a house of my own, I will have a really huge kitchen complete with wide length oven (like those you see in bakery shop) , freezer (tall one with five shelves) and a coffee-maker that sticks to the wall. A stand alone island table with may drawers and wooden stool to sit around with. Inside my kitchen, there will be a little home theatre where I can click on classical beethoven when I am cooking. I love the feeling when we are just about to get ready to cook something. It feels like a Prelude to performing something. An experiment for a scientist with a white apron.

I miss apple pie, blueberry pies. . . . I want to make one when I have an oven.

I want to have an oven . When will I get one ? Will u get me one soon?

Juices is another adagio-composition for me. I want to mix and match the taste of everyone in the room. Tasting the sweetness from the juices makes my skin tingle.

Ken the Panda

Your tenderness remains in my heart
Like a bookmark that stays inside an unfinished novel
Forever unremoved and untouched by anyone else except myself

Our days together did not last a fairy tale
But the thought of it makes my day a happy ending ones

You didn't mind
You never mind
You will not mind
about who i was or what i do
that is why you are the lovely panda in my mind

Whats' On and Whats' Off

I want to enter jobs that involve me with the public. In the past six years of working for people, I have seen how marketing jobs get me into the public arena. It cheers me up a little to see a new person each day. Even though they aren't what I expected them to be, at least, there is something new everyday.

I realize there is so many people in this world who is lonely. If only all the lonely people have a chance to meet up. Many of these people are in fact people who work in the family business. Due to the kind of family type work environment, their daily exposure is only segregated to family. They are slowly retrieving from the public.

Recently, I have invested one month concentrating on a business plan. My research into this new business is enlightening. I was enchanted by the children's costumes and mascots that wearing them makes you enter a whole new world. The feelling of magic is in the air. On the other hand, it makes me realize that i love to design. Its my cliche.

Whats' off in my life is love. I have been out of love for almost two years now. During this time, I have been fleeing from depression. Keeping myself busy just to stay away from depression. On the other hand, I have been making hard-to-reach wishes. For a while, I thought the miracles in fairy tale would come true in my life if only I kept believing in my wishes.

Sixth Month of the Rooster Fate

生财有道shēng cái you3 dào (There is a way to grow wealth)

春光煥彩 chūn guāng huàn cai3
Joy/Life/Love shining brilliantly and colorfully
人形極佳 rén xíng jí jiā
Person appear extremely excellent
福至心靈 fú zhì xīn líng
Good Fortune Arrive in Internal Spirit
獨創新徑 dú chuàng xīn jìng
Alone bring forth new path
晉级有望 jìn jí yǒu wàng
There is hope of dynastic rank
得意從心願 dé yì cōng xīn yuàn
Satisfaction follow goal or desire
常兴事業宏 cháng xīng shì yè hóng
Always Happy and Career will flourish

The Recovery

A short trip of seven days overseas totally refreshed my perspectives about my future and most importantly cured my heart of the love pain that penetrated my soul for the past three months. Career is what I needed to focus on from now on.

My lesson about love is, don't try to get love when you can't handle love itself.
Don't treat Love as the top priority in life.
Don't ever rely on Love for happiness

I found that pursuing wealth can make me stop investing my mood and time on pursuing love. All these time, I think my greatest flaws is pursuing something that is so far above that I just never able to reach it.

Random Crescendo

Coffee turns me on - A cup of coffee makes a whole lot of difference to the outcome of my day. I believe this isn't the first time you hear these comments. The coffee that I am into now is indocafe coffeemix 3 in 1.

The Song that catch my heart today - Eternal Flame by Bangles. I was listening to it on the radio on my way to work. It was meant for a friend who is trying to tell her best friend that those moments that you make my heart beat and those moments when you ease my pain just by being there - all these moments remained burning like an eternal flame in my heart. These moments I want to always cherish them in my heart for eternity.

Is getting a CFA really necessary? will it change my career if I pass this exam? Bloomberg recently published on its site that the number of candidates taking the CFA exam has risen significantly in this time of recession. Its' been part of my hidden wish to complete the CFA exam. I dnt want to be those people who take and re-take. I want to pass it the first time. To do so, I need preparation and diligence. I know that~but before doing so, I want to know for sure, whether getting it will upgrade my current career or not.

Redifine , Rejuvenate , Revive

This month is nonetheless a month for me to redefine what i want :

• I want to be the cherry-pie that everyone look out for in a party. How do I go about becoming one? I notice those cherry-people have sweet tongue. They would praise a person without limits or worrying what others' think of their words. They would bring and give a wide smile in whatever circumstances that they were in. They would say yes to somebody if that could make that somebody happy. They always know how to make themselves attractive in a physical and intellectual way. They always think positive.
• I want to be free of credit card bills. I have recently found a few avenues where I can sell off some of the electronic devices that I had idling around. Also, my eye for fashion has significantly improved. This is going to help because most of my credit card bills come from purchasing clothes. I no longer purchase clothes based on temptation.
• I want to be a girl who is not always sobbing for love. The next time I fall in love, I must love myself more rather than loving the other party more. Also, when I give up a guy or a guy leave me, I should not think of a second-chance again ever.
• A guy would love a woman who has pride, confidence and maturity. I must remember these three pillars because I tend to not pay attention to them.
• I want to be have my own condominium and car. 2C is enough. I must look out for a new career that pays more.
• I want to have more girl and boy friends. Sometimes, to start a network of friends, we must first be brave to enter somebody else' network. I must brace the courage to do it. Recently my brother invited me but I still have unhealthy thoughts and I rejected it only to know how wrong i was. I will re-start my courage once again if there is a next time by asking a friend to accompany me there, perhaps that will solve my fears.
• I want to be able to concentrate more and be more absorbent. I had a list of books and language manuals to read but my short-attention span seems to make me quit before I remember anything that I read.

The Next and the Next

Yesterday, on my long drive to the sports center, I was thinking all the way through about what I want from my LIFE. In this current world, or I should say, in this generation that we are living in, we no longer can depend on anyone. Being financial independent is the upmost importance regardless of gender.

I set my mind from today onwards that my life must start from pursuing a good career and let relationship be my second priority. The people who let career be their first priority, often leads a happier (satisfied) life than people who let relationship rule their life. I have heard this a thousand times but I never realize I have been a victim of relationship.

Reflecting back to the past, I remember I went to one interview at a multinational company. I brought home with me two important questions:,
where do you see yourself in the next five years. I can't remember what my answer was back then. But today, I am clear what my answer gonna be: five years from now, I see myself having a stable career, a career i really enjoy waking up to every morning.
Do you see setting up a family as one of your life priorities?
My answer today: Setting up a family has to come second place after obtaining a good career because in todays' world, if we have no career, we will be depending on another person for our basic needs - in other words, we are not financial independent. Somehow we will be either depending on our parents or our lover. This is not healthy. This can leads to endless conflicts with the one we love. No one want such a miserable life. When you depend on another person, that other person will be controlling your life and I don't want to lose my freedom to decide what I want to do with my life.

The Bust of Time

Recently work has taken up almost all my time. The last three weeks, work has been hectic. I have been involved in two department, import and finance department. I am just starting to enjoy import department where I get more exposure to the product we are selling. After work, I do not go partying or dining anymore these days. Ever since being in a relationship, my time after work has been mainly dates and movies. Now that my relationship is over, Its' time to set a new schedule for myself. Of course, these are just guidelines. If I don't follow, or I miss a box, nobody is going to punish me for that. Lets' see, I have exercise column. Thats' what I plan to do from 18:00 to 19:00 (6-7pm). Those are exercise DVDs that I got from shopping. Intend to exercise at my own pace in front of the wide screen television and of course indoor. The titles are pretty enticing: TOTAL FAT BURN, AEROBIC CHALLENGER....blablabla. At 19:00 (7PM) , I will have shower and care. ExBODY means Exfoliate body. At the moment, I am using body-shop body scrub olive flavor. After I finish using it, i intend to switch to papaya flavor. i had done a little browsing and flavor tasting at the shops. Papaya flavor is rich in vitamin E and good for my skin. The product I use for exfoliate face is kose-exfoliate-gel. The content comes in dark blue liquid. The instruction starts with massaging the gel all over our face until the blue turns grey and rinse off. I found it quite effective in removing dead skins. These days with the earth becoming more hot each day, lotion is becoming everyday necessities. After dinner, I will spend sometime reading up on languages : Japanese and korean. These are two languages I am learning at the moment. What I mean by fashion is hehehe watching FASHION TV. Thats' a must! To keep our eyesight fresh and that affects the way we dress. Fashiontv is conveniently available at my room now. Another thing of course is practising the piano. Recently I got new scores from internet downloads. They are mostly classical jazz. Still have not decided which piece to play. We will see.

So there goes my schedule to keep myself busy. So I won't have time to think of my ex

My Hydrangea

I am taking care of her like a baby. She is certainly becoming more beautiful each day. Water is like her blood. Hydra is a Greek word for water. The leaves will begin to droop if the soil is too dry. Too much water, the leaves begin to get brown/black marks on the edges. I am reading up on how to take care of her. It is interesting to note that the acidity of the soil determine her color. When the soil is above PH6, which means alkaline, the flower will bloom into a brilliant pink color. When its’ below PH6, Acidic, she will turn cobalt blue. Add aluminium sulfate to soil to make flowers bluer or add lime to soil to make flower pinker (apply to root plant zone). As the blooms mature, they turn to a more purple/lavender color, then to lime green, and finally white & brown. I hope one day she will grow to become like the images _______________________________________________-- here =

This is how my flower looks today. She has five younger sisters who are still baby buds. They are all growing in one pot. I can't wait to see her bloom. I need to go to pharmacy and get PH measuring device. She belongs to the Macrophylla family.
Taking my research step further from being just my hobby, I would like to know more about another family, that is Hydrangea - Serrata. Its' use in making herbal tea. There are altogether 44 families of hydrangea growing around Japan, Korea, and relatively around most of Southeast asian countries.

Sushi Potluck

It was Sunday and we started the day at 4am. Preparing the ingredients take up almost 3 hours. Cutting and slicing carrots, cucumber, avocado, seaweed, crab stick, egg omelette. Frying the omelette is quite a challenge. I don't have the right saucepan, so the twist and turn resulted in fatal condition. As for the shrimp, its' perfect. We made a great tempura. I had three helpers, that makes four of us.

In the end we managed to make TEN combinations:
1. Futomaki - Ham and Cheese = 100 pieces
2. Futomaki - Shrimp and crabstick = 100 pieces
3. Futomaki - Tuna and seaweed = 30 pieces
4. Futomaki - Salmon and seaweed = 30 pieces
5. California Roll = 150 pieces

6. Nigiri sushi - Shrimp = 20 pieces
7. Nigiri sushi - crab stick = 20 pieces
8. small roll - seaweed = 30 pieces
9. small roll - tamago = 10 pieces
10. small roll - tuna = 20 pieces

Altogether adds up to 510 pieces. Haven't include the unsucessful breeds. Those that look a little like moth-balls.....rather than rolls. Preparing the ingredients takes up almost three hours. The number of bowls and plates that we have to wash at the end of the day is just unbelievable.

Preparing the ingredients is a challenge. We were shot of crab sticks and shrimp. Also, this time, the ham and the omelette didn't come in square-blocks. I hope I will improve the next time.

Women to Women

To women out there, Here are some wise words from a women (58 years old) who was divorced at the age of 37. She shared these words to me and a few others who were sitting in her lecture room:

Don't Expect Man too Much
Don't wait for man to do something for you
You lose not only time on waiting
Do you know why I divorced?
I am too tired
Just think that tomorrow will be better and next year will be better
Everyday waiting for Tomorrow . Like that every day
I think my life will end like this
If there's anything you want to get
Don't expect man to do it for you
You have to do it by yourself
This is the smartest choice

~_~ . . . o dear . . . . this is reality = I have to deal with it

........I have been waiting for man to get me DIAMOND and FLOWERS . . . .
........okay. I hear you! I will work hard to earn my own diamond and flowers

你听到吗？(can you hear)

Wish you are here. I want to stop crying but tears keeps falling each time i go to bed.

As I looked up the sky, I say: "Please rain"

When you were sleeping, you look like a teddy bear

That is why I Luv u

Best Companies to Work For

Till today, I still wish I pass that piano audition. The audition that would change who I am today. I wanted so much to be a music major when I was studying in the States. My parents wanted me to take finance major and I didn't refuse. I graduated with a degree that looks good on my resume but not in my heart. I remember, taking my MBA entrance exam and the next day practising for my piano audition. When I received a letter from the music school, I decided to walk over to Woodburn Hall where there is a little park right next to a huge willow tree. Managed my breath and slowly read the lines in the letter, as if reading to the tree. As I finished reading the letter, my tears fell down and I felt there was a moment of silence. As if somebody mute the world. My envelopes was taken away by the wind. I stared blankly at the letter. I wish I could return to the piano room and re-play my piece but I know there are 300 over applicants who received the same letter that day.

Today, as I was chatting over lunch with my colleagues about which companies to work for. Three of them were waiting for my answer and still I didn't give them my answer. I stared at the ceiling of my office. My mind was telling me the best companies to work for is my own company. i want to have my own company. A musical school that teach children piano, violin, ballet, french horn (my second instrument). I remember how fun it was playing in an ochestra. If only the children can experience what I experience, that makes me happy.

The Cycle of Fate

Yesterday evening, I was watching this korean movie. A story about the life of three women who live in three different generation. First is a 40 year old widow who has a stable career and has a daughter but no love life. Second is a 30 year old single women who is struggling with love and career. Third is a 20year old girl who is dating for the first time.

The life that closely reflect mine is the 30 year old single women. Well, I am about 25 now, but I can see myself experiencing the ambivalence that she is struggling with. She has a boyfriend who betrayed her. Her existing boyfriend has unstable jobs and hardly have any cash to live by. She dumped him as soon as she found out about his betrayal. She met somebody new through blind date. He is a rich guy's son and an accountant who earns good income. However, the accountant live a lifestyle thats' different from her. She was unable to fit to this new lifestyle and in the end, she reject his marriage proposal. She is back to her single life but she feels happy because she didn't live a life of regrets.

This movie cheer me up a little. I realize afterall the problem I am experiencing at the moment is a NORM that happens to almost 80% of the women my age. I also realize that I have been looking back rather than looking forward. Looking back filled me up with regrets, resents and unnecessary thoughts. I hope my spirit will change for the better starting today.

My Recent Fling - Classical Jazz

Recently switching my classical piano to jazz piano after listening to George Gershwin's piano pieces . I am learning "I Got Rhythm" memorizing the piece. Jazz music can penetrate our feelings. Walking feels like dancing, running feels like floating, day dreaming feels like a standstill-stare to heaven. He is an American Composer. Many of his compositions have been used in broadway and television films. Countless singers have recorded Gershwin songs such as Louis Armstrong, Bobby Darin, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Barbra Streisand, Sting, Madonna...etc.

Gershwin's favorite, worth listening to, click on them:
1) Over the Rainbow
2) I Got Rhythm
3) Rhapsody in Blue

Dress

I like the colors and style of these dresses. Got them from fashion magazines. Nowadays, I prefer to wear something that makes me look and not just feel comfortable. I noticed how people purchased stuff from online websites. I wish they have some websites that deliver my order in less than a week. That way, I can wear it instantly. In Mdn, the clothes are out of date and the price is 200% higher. There's no standard of pricing here. Last Sunday, I made a visit to a place that many of my friends recommended me. The place is a store that sells all brands of clothes at a bargain price. The clothes are new. The problem with those kind of store is you either walk home being tricked or walk home being shouted. Every Sunday, its' crowded with people. Mostly young girls who are looking for something thats' affordable yet trendy. The clothes were imported from Thailand, Korea, Jakarta and Singapore.

My Favorite Activities

My weeks in Medan got me started with many of my favorite activities which include: tennis, golf, cooking, drawing, practising the piano, aerobics, home spa, reading comics, billiard. It was great, driving around town, reading novels and magazines, taking pictures. Having the time of my life to do something I always wanted to do.

The piano pieces I have been practising include Fantasie Impromptu Chopin and Scherzo Op.31 Chopin and also "Maple Leaf" by Scott Joplin. There is another Beethoven peace that I used to play "Pathetique" Movement 1. Its' a tough peace. Especially keeping the pace and the elements in line. Beethoven pieces are much tougher. Chopin pieces always have repeated melodies. That makes it easier to memorize. I tend to memorize first before learning about the forte and pianossimo. I recorded my playing and wish I could post it here.

Other activities that keep me busy is going to the temple. I don't have a particular schedule to follow. I just go to temple when I need a peace of mind or in the mood of making wishes and on important days such as (1st and 15th day of the lunar calendar).
As for the cooking, the journey begins last Sunday. Ruth and Me went to the supermarket and hunt for cooking materials. . .My first menu was "Olive Rice and Kailan" continued with Toufu in Plum Sauce and Peanuts. The process of preparing starts with chopping the garlic and washing Kailan. I managed to get it all done in less than half an hour. I packed one box for Kent.


As for my drawings, I am still having "Sailor Moon Fever".....She is so beautiful . I prefer Takeuchi's manga-drawing rather than the anime version of Sailor moon. The coloring is too flashy. Other than sailor moon, I have been reading DORA RONPA. Its a comic about a primary six girl being friend with a ghost who is her age. Its' kinda funny. Another one that I am reading at the moment is "Yuka Club" about a bunch of best friends (6 of them) who created a club in high school for anybody who has lots of free time to join. I like the character of Yuri. She has short-boy-cut hair just like me when I was in high school. She is very much like me when I was in high school. I love to eat, don't bother about my studies, very brave in helping my friends, a little blur, animal lover and a little absent-minded....well always have more pocket money than my friends. Last of all, I love to collect small display items such as those below:

Playing billiard is top of ALL my favorites at the moment. Its' quite enticing and keep me focused. I like the joy when u hear the ball sloped down the hole. Its' like a small victory. I also, like it because it gave me a little challenge. As for tennis, I am starting to get tired of it. I can't seem to get the ball at times. I am still at beginner stage. We played twice a week in the morning with three other friends of mine.
The only way to keep me fit is aerobics. I bought those aerobic tapes and watched it while doing exercise. Sometimes I can go for two hours depending on my mood.

Mr Curiosity

Throughout your life, have you met a person whom you are absolutely curious about. Someone you admire or perhaps someone you respected or perhaps someone you love that you are afraid to let that person know everything about you? This is different from a CRUSH. Because you don't see this person as the person you want to be with, but you are just curious about this person.

Even after years of non-communication, no meeting, no talking, even though you had found a life partner / a girlfriend / a boyfriend, you still save a little part of yourself remembering that person. Part of you still wonder what he is up to rite now? Does he like coffee or tea? does he wear blue or green on a sunny day? This person I call Mr.Curiosity.

I have one Mr.Curiosity in my life. Today, suddenly I thought about Mr.Curiosity. I haven't spoken to him for more than a year. The last time I bumped into him, he gave me that curious look and a smile, as if asking me "where have you been?" yet, he never say anything to me. Just waved hello and left. I gave him the same look and can only waved at him quitely and kept the wonders and questions I have about him, all to myself and walked away. Part of me wish I could see more of Mr.Curiosity in my everyday life. But......I can never find him. He appeared suddenly in the most unexpected places.

My Mr. Curiosity, recently we started messaging again. . . .. and I teased him like "What are you doing rite now? Poking your nose" and then he would laugh. Recently.....he asked me questions like where are you? where is your bf....I didn't reply him.....He asked me again "Are you married?" I began to wonder his questions are a little strange. He never asked that kind. As weeks went by, a friend of mine saw his name on the newspaper. His wedding day is tomorrow. My friend called me and told me. I was shocked to tears. I realized My Mr.Curiosity episode is coming to an end.

Miss Pink

I miss her. She left the world on 14th-Sept-2007. She came to my world on 18th-June-2006. I picked her out of hundreds of two-cm-size-Lohan swimming inside an aquarium in one of the many shop houses in my hometown. It is said that Lohan is the mating of seven species of fish and that gives her additional intelligence compared to other fish.

Almost every evening when everybody is asleep, I often sneaked into the living room where her aquarium is. I sticked my face to the aquarium and whispered to her "I love you Miss-Pink" and she would stare at me just like the photograph. When I walked further away from her, she would move around the aquarium from left to right in huge speed, as if asking me not to go and showing her Princess temper. To comfort her, i would touch her forehead and play around with her fins. Nights when I feel upset, I would come to her. Nights when I can't sleep, I would come to her. I would hummed to her my stories. She just stare at me like in the photograph. I started to realize that she recognize me when she started biting other people except me. I wish she has been re-incarnated into this world again. I am thinking about getting a new Lohan. . . hopefully the newcomer is as beautiful as she is

Life Transition

chose to listen to my heart this time and quit the job. The job was truly in line with what I learnt in school. I was supposed to be fully satisfied with the job description. However, reality bites. It truly bites me when the pay didn't match up. To appease from insulting myself further, lets' call this life transition. Its' time to choose what I want to do for life.

Think about it! This job is not what I want to do for life!. . ..

I have good reasons to quit....... before spending ten years there and found how wasted i had become. At the time of my resignation, there were five other colleagues quitting as well. They had been with the company for more than five years. Some have been there for more than ten years. Their reason is no different from mine.

If only I attended Music and Arts school rather than Business school, I would be creating a music school BY now. Think about it! Ever since I left school, I had worked in three permanent jobs and two internships. I SHOULD APPLAUDE MYSELF but I am not happy. Those jobs didn't even come close to moving me closer to where i want to be.

Its' been three days walking on bare foot (jobless). The three days felt barely moving. Although, yes, for the first time I get to indulge in something I enjoy doing without worrying about the time, but still at the end of the day, your mind starts asking what did you do today?

I plan to spend this one month re-thinking my directions before plunging into a new job. I hope by the end of the month, I found something that I really want to do.

Random Walk

I had delicious meals today, Sushi Tei for lunch and Pepper Lunch for dinner. I went shopping at two malls. Bought a shirt from ZARA and bought clothes for my bf. Days would be good if I have such consistent income to pay for all these pleasantries. I know days like this will come to an end as soon as I lost my job.

By end of this month, I will leave my current job. This decision not only cheer me up but it makes me a new person. I want to focus on what I really want and I know the road must be a hard one in which I have to do something I never done before. The sad truth that I have to keep reminding myself is that once I lost my job, I will no longer have the luxury of using T43 Laptop. Instead I will be back using my old T22 laptop. That T22 can’t run internet from my room. O MAN! If only I got a laptop for my birthday present.

My birthday is coming up but I know its’ not going to have any impact on this world. Its’ just an ordinary day for many of us. I am thinking about purchasing an air ticket for my bf so he can be in Jakarta on my birthday.

I always yearn to receive the respect that my brother gets when he came home. He deserved it because at his age, he already set up his own business. To reach that state, it requires networking. I know I am so lacking of it.

Yesterday, although its’ a Saturday, I didn’t spend it like Saturday. But I had a good time doing all my favorite things: watching anime, playing theme hospital game, watching DVD, going to Gym, reading Sidney sheldon. What else could I have done.

I don’t want it to be a home-industry kind of business. I want that theory “Less for more” kind of thing. I haven’t told my parents about my job resignation. I thought I should it leave it till the last. I had stupidly paid for my gym monthly installments up to may 2008. If I return on March 1st, I will be wasting the money I paid for those three months. If I stayed till the end of march, at least, I only lost 2 months.

My relationship with my bf is like a boat. Sometimes it is sailing peacefully, sometimes, the boat sank. I don’t want relationship to cloud my life. I want to have a life that I can control. Working for other people, is like people are taking away my time.

The Untold Destiny

My instinct is telling me that my destiny will take its' place this year. There were three incidents that convinced me so. Although I am not sure what my destiny will turn out to be but these three incidents somehow painted part of the picture.

1st Incident
On the fourth day of the Lunar New Year, my parents held an open house for families and friends to visit our home. The guests varied with age and backgrounds. There was one old lady, who is a grandmother of my father’s friend. At the sight of me, this old lady said, are you married? There is a bachelor who is looking for a bride. He is a tiger born and currently lives in Singapore. Would you like to know him? At that time, I have no clue about my grandma’s token and my first reaction was, why should I believe in arranged date? And so I said no. I am not interested. She kept exaggerating the possibilities. However, I did not pay further attention to her.

2nd Incident
Each year, on the first day of the lunar year, my grandma would visit the temple and inquire about the faith of her children and grandchildren. What this year will turn out to be is foretell in the token that she selected based on her prayers and incessant calling of our names to the god above.

My token is numbered 62. Each number carries with it a story. That story tells me that my current surroundings are wolves and they despised me. I am to trust no one and my fate will turn better in the autumn season. In autumn, I will be able to fulfill my wealth and love desire and on top of that, I will find wealth in tiger’s head.

Tiger’s head? This language can be found only in fantasy novels? I wonder if thousand of centuries ago, fantasy took human forms. Stories involving magic, paranormal magic and terrible monsters have existed in spoken forms before the advent of printed literature. People won’t write about it if it never happened?

3rd Incident
On the second day of the Lunar New Year, with my family, we visited the home of my mother’s friend. My mother’s friend happened to have two daughters who are about my age. They are currently going the same thing as me except that they are working in singapore. What brings them to my attention is that they have thoughts about setting up business just like I do. How I have wished to meet a friend who shared this interest.

So these three incident somehow is suppose to paint out my fate for the year 2008. Did you get the picture?

The Triangle Piano Room

I had a wonderful dream yesterday. Its'wonderful because I was happy in the dream.

I was inside a triangle room containing three pianos. Two grand pianos facing each other. On the left end of the triangle space room, there is a small 3x4m2 area. . . .where a standing piano is placed.

The triangle spaced room is surrounded with glass window. . . where people walking passed the window can see through inside who is playing in the room.

At the bottom of the triangle space room, there is a slided door which open to another 5x5m2 area room containing 3 rows of chairs for the audience or a small chamber ochestra to join in.

Just a quick thought! I can turn this practice room into money making machine by charging people on an hourly basis. The room will be sound-proof. .,,,, yeah. It was a dream afterall. Of course it can turn into anything I want.

Killing Time

I don’t feel like working today. In fact, there’s no work for me. Nobody has assigned me any work. I am sitting in front of my laptop browsing at work papers done by my ancestors in this company. Some I tried hard to understand, some I just ignore. Please when will I get to go up one step higher. I don’t see it coming. All my ancestors have at least spent two years here before getting another step higher. I don’t plan on staying this long. To be honest, I want to get married.

I wonder how about the rest of the S team. Do we face the same fate?
I bet Madji is still on holiday. I bet Dione, Gary, Nora, Cassandra, Rebecca got nothing to do yet. We are the team that no body wants. The thrown away kids

I felt really sad this weekend. My boyfriend and me undergoing HOT-HOT-argument again. Just hope God will help to tell him that I am not what he think I am. I am a pure loyal girl but every single thing I did online is stamped as a crime to him. I don’t know what to do. I can only advertise myself to him every single time, trying to gain his love. I want to go to the temple, but the last time getting caught by the police on the road to the temple, is traumatic enough. I am scared to get caught again. Being unable to talk to God is a terrible feeling for me because I have nobody really here that I can talk about my problems. My aunty is in Mdn (my hometown) and talking to her on the phone is expensive. She missed me also because she appeared in my dream.
I watched several anime in crunchyroll. The first one is Kodomo no Jikan. About three primary three school girls who is endlessly seeking to bring trouble for their newly assigned form teacher. I like Kokone’s hair color and hair style. I want to have a long hair just like that too. Another anime I watched is Rose of Versailles. I had read the manga but the movie is much better

The Sad Truth behind the Birth of this Blog

As of May 25th, my blog was deleted from the world wide web. All happened in less than five seconds. Just one single button in the Settings page of my blogspot control platform. My entire five years blog drained off the web. ^0^ SCREAM! AAAAAAAA